unintentionally creepy old songs

Lead singer … The true “stalker’s anthem.”. One day this lady was breastfeeding her kid in full view at her table and of course I was the only one available to take her drink out to her, so I take her coffee out to her and try like hell to avoid eye contact. The shit-devouring sideways-mouthed living profanity is German? Examples: Joanna Newsom - the sprout and the bean Merle Haggard - mama tried Tiny Tim - tiptoe through the tulips (and yes, I know all of these were used in popular movies) "Here, child, there is a tiny man imprisoned in this box. The original video was posted two months after the 15-year-old went missing. There are plenty of folk songs that warn young women against the reputation-shredding advances of lecherous men, from the direct O Soldier Won't You Marry Me to the poetic Let No Man Steal Your Thyme. You're almost done. At night he prank calls her and mocks her handicap by singing the line "Hello, is it me you are looking for" and then hangs up. Potato Head" as it was "Mr. Collection of Random Disembodied Facial Parts" -- the perfect gift for Little Timmy, who just can't seem to keep a cat alive. That would be ridiculous. Each version tends to end in a similar way, with the singer realising he's bound for prison, and maybe the gallows, and also most certainly for eternal damnation. For old toys that need rebooting, check out 35 Updates to Classic Childhood Toys (Too Awesome to Exist). He is missed. So it wasn't so much "Mr. I'm looking for songs like the one in silence of the lambs when bufalo bill gets naked and starts dancing with a wig on. share. It looks like the Thing is practicing its breaststroke. So maybe you just abandon it and move on to building another: The family includes Skinny's sister, Ginny Bones; their dog, Ham Bones; and Trom Bones, the horse. Good song … But the blade becomes unwashable - the more she wipes it, the "more red" it grows. This queasy tale of infanticide has been sung by everyone from Cecilia Costello to The Dubliners (who recorded a version called Weile Weile Waile) and Nancy Kerr. If everything in this scenario is on the up and up, there is absolutely no reason for Paddy to stick his whole tongue out toward that pig's face just to take your coin. Haha, OK. Now we know that history is fucking with us. There's no way that your material desire and the spark of human creativity will bring them to life so they can steal your blood. The Most Unintentionally Entertaining Kids Shows to Put on for Your Children ... these kids hate that stuff because it looks old and creepy now. The human side of this preventable tragedy was captured in the song On Morecambe Bay, by Kevin Littlewood, which has been memorably covered by Christy Moore, thanks to the intervention of Mike Harding (as Christy reveals in this interview with Cerys Matthews). They're kind of like LEGOs, except you build people instead of pirate ships, and one of the most vital pieces in every set is a burning but impotent hatred behind the eyes. Burn them all. When you go on vacation, you probably feel obligated to buy some kitschy souvenirs, like a key chain, or a silly T-shirt, or a wooden toy that looks like it was carved for use in an occult ritual. What songs lyrics are unintentionally creepy? The plastic version we think of today wasn't produced until 1964, which meant children had 12 long years to spend lying awake at night, wondering exactly how much their corn hated them, and knowing the answer was at least "more than anything.". The singer is romanticizing obsessive stalking. As Joan Bakewell explains in this report, the 1960s musical Oh! We're not sure why every single set of facial features includes wide, unblinking eyes full of hypnotic terror, but here you go: VintageTVCommercials Check out these little beauties from 1940: Bebe Antiques In the Shirley Collins version, he then explains that their love, while it was once "the fairest flower that e'er was seen / Has withered to the stalk", going on to add: "The stalk is withered dry, true love / So must our hearts decay / Then rest yourself content, my dear / Till God calls you away". The song was popular with the soldiers (but not their commanding officers) during the latter days of the war, and was recreated by Chumbawamba for their a capella collection of insurrectionary old folk tunes, English Rebel Songs 1381–1984. Unintentionally Funny Songs. Legendary Soviet baritoneEduard Khilwas known as the “Symbol of Leningrad” in his younger years. Famously used in the soundtrack to Halloween II and subsequent iterations of the horror movie franchise, the lullaby croon of this single by The Chordettes is … In this documentary, made by Howard Sounes, author of Down the Highway: The Life of Bob Dylan, we find out more about the case from first hand witnesses, and even hear from Zantzinger himself, who turns out not to be much of a Dylan fan. Some love songs are downright creepy. 0. I've always thought The Beatles' "Honey Pie" was pretty creepy. u/TheProdigis. Why is Sherlock So Jacked in 'Enola Holmes'? Matty, who is naked, strikes the first blow, but is immediately killed, and Lord Donald then asks his wife which of the two she prefers. In 2004, at least 21 illegally employed Chinese migrant workers died while picking cockles in Morecambe Bay, when they were caught by the incoming tide. “My Friend, My Friend” – Phish. Thanks for connecting! Abductors and captives end up in the dismemberment piles. By Alex Fletcher Tracy's Toys It concerns a woman who kills her two new-born children with a knife. The Police – “Mother” A crazed, hallucinatory diatribe that sounds like it’s ricocheting off the walls … It's the song of a desperate, ill person begging for their life, with Death himself boasting that he will shut the body down, and why? Posted by. When they weren't toiling in coal mines or sweeping chimneys or doing something else that almost certainly covered their rosy cheeks in picturesque soot, they had to go home and play with these friggin' nightmares: In 1867, toymaker, inventor, and probable serial child murderer Charles M. Crandall created these stacking acrobat toys called Crandall's Acrobats. Jack-in-the-boxes have been teaching children about the horrors of the uncanny valley since the 16th century. Settle down, this is what they call a page-turner. She asks if they have seen William, and after some discussion over the cut and colour of his coat and hair, they tell her he has drowned. Radio 1 Live Music - Bring Me The Horizon, Tom Walker & Red Hot Chilli Pipers - Leave A Light On. As we've seen, folk music works exceptionally well at putting across the personal side of a story with political ramifications, and this is just as true when it's sung about a recent event. Tom Maxwell (Squirrel Nut Zippers, The Minor Drag) shares some tracks that freak him out. Outraged, the Lord finds the couple in bed, and insists that Matty fight. I'm tasting your soul ...". Back in 2009, someone with way too much time on their hands discovered a gibberish performance by Khil dating back to 1976. She collapsed and died of heart failure, and he received a six-month jail sentence. know any unintentionally creepy songs? This account of the death of a black hotel worker is drawn from contemporary history - Bob Dylan wrote it almost as soon as the court case had ended - and yet it has a theme that runs as far back through folk music history as the texts allow us to see. There might be a lot of carousing along the way, and there may be some discussion of farming or the occasional comedic skit to tickle your fancy, but the principal themes remain constant and they are always delivered with rude gusto. BBC Radio 2 - The Folk Show with Mark Radcliffe. Fuck you, a child is not playing with that thing. DON'T TOUCH HER HAND. In 1867, toymaker, inventor, and probable serial child murderer Charles M. Crandall created these stacking acrobat toys called Crandall's Acrobats.These leering, pasty-faced performers looked less like fun-loving tumblers mid routine and more like they were trying to combine themselves to form some sort of molestation Voltron. Do you want to summon the Old Gods? Mr. For some reason, murderously staring dolls with no names used to be like Pokemon back in the day. Which is the kind of stark message from the hereafter that you never really got in Ghost. Of course you do! Some versions of the song end here, but Died for Love (as performed here by Martin and Eliza Carthy) continues, with a verse in which her father enters her bedroom to find her "hanging by a rope", with a note attached to her chest asking him to bury her with marble stones at her head and feet, with a snow-white dove in the middle, "just to let the world know that I died for love.". If you pitched that shit as the tagline for the next Hellraiser movie, the studio execs would either ask you to tone it way the hell down or skip to the inevitable and call security. Related Reading: There's a secret conspiracy hiding behind every 90s toy commercial. save hide report. By contrast, the poor privates (or battalion, depending on the version of the song) can be found "hanging on the old barbed wire". From the first verse, he finds himself wishing he could have stepped forward to warn them, the way "our mothers" warned local children, that you can't outrun the tide, and then introduces this poetic refrain: "For the tide is The Devil, it will run you out of breath / Race you to the seashore, chase you to your death / The tide is the very Devil and the Devil has its day / On the lonely cockle banks of Morecambe Bay. Like all good stories, folk music is largely about three things: sex, death and politics. Frosty the Devourer of Worlds here is crouched in terrible hunger and desire, perpetually waiting for a snowball to be cranked into his gaping and monstrous maw. I would expect my boyfriend to pay the bills too if he was the one who ran them up. When you couple that terrible premise with execution like this ... Cashmere Junkie Unfortunately, they've been difficult to find ever since the manufacturer released a recall notice that just read, "Burn them. It reminds me of the final long tracking shot of Kubrick's The Shining. GoGo Mag In 2011 he was named as the world's most unintentionally creepy Christmas decoration by Cracked.com. Toys that almost certainly contain some sort of ironic curse aren't your idea of a fun little gift for the kids back home? also has a drawer "for surprises." Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Operate the crank until he springs out at your face." Yes, buy them and name them. It's no use trying to destroy it. Incase you're curious, that song is, "good bye horses" by Q Lazzarus. In the song, the red balloons in question are mistaken for an air attack, and as a result the Soviet bloc and the west go to war. She says dead Matty, so Lord Donald kills her too, and buries the two lovers in the same grave, with her on top, because she's posher. Mystery solved. Simple: "I'm Death I come to take the soul / Leave the body and leave it cold / To draw up the flesh off of the frame / Dirt and worm both have a claim.". The RSL Auction Co Also known as Hanged I Shall Be, The Oxford Tragedy, The Oxford Girl, The Wexford Girl, The Butcher Boy and many others, this song - variants of which date back to the 1700s - is one of many murder ballads in the folk canon that follow a similar pattern. She proposes marriage, but he's not interested, puts his hat back on and heads out into the storm, leaving her reputation in tatters. Copyright © 2005-2020. 12 comments. I would have preferred a greater number of the songs to be primarily either unintentionally creepy or songs that are deceptively happy sounding. Each verse offers a chance to find where representatives of a particular rank might be found - from sergeant down to private - with the officers described as being variously "lying on the canteen floor" to "miles and miles behind the line". 7 emotional songs by musicians who miss their father, 10 film soundtrack moments that’ll have you crying in your popcorn. 8 unintentionally scary children's TV characters that still terrify us Which classic children's TV characters still haunt the Digital Spy team? For those unfamiliar with the prolific jam band, the lyrics to their … Also known as One True Love and Cold Blows the Wind (as performed above by Bellowhead), this is a song of mourning that takes a dark turn into gothic nihilism. Just showing it to a kid has to be some sort of crime, at least on par with flashing. This song has ALWAYS creeped me out. But honestly, nobody builds that alien-flesh-crab-that-just-stole-a-human-face motherfucker down there and thinks "Yes, the kids will love this.". She then meets two babies in the entrance to a church, and tells them she'd treat them wonderfully if they were hers. This German toy (what? A woman throws herself on the grave of her true love, desperate for one last kiss to relieve her grief. While this song isn't 'creepy' per se, it's subject matter is much darker than most people assume. Okay, there's songs like "Every Breath You Take" (The Police) and "Lily, My One and Only" (Smashing Pumpkins) that are literally about a stalker and told from the stalker's point of view, but I"m not talking about those kinds of songs. So, as we head towards this year's Radio 2 Folk Awards, here are 10 examples of songs that go beyond the bounds of human decency (and are all the better for it): Martin Carthy and Eliza Carthy - Died For Love at Folk Awards 2014, 3rd party content may contain ads - see our FAQs for more info. Just showing it to steal children 's building toy series called the Bones Family get! You were supposed to jam into your own fruits or vegetables Abductors captives... Turn out to be like Pokemon back in 2009, someone with way too much time on hands... Back home in short supply, it 's too late! `` momentary Symbol Leningrad! We 're taking to SXSW have Fun '' was about a Man Trolling for Strange from! 'Re supposed to jam into your own fruits or vegetables decoration by.... A page-turner his inner freak on all that he touches, and did you rich! Boxes knew exactly what they were hers the dismemberment piles me free/and you 'll see all over school while to. 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Hurry, before it 's a tale of a woman pining for her true love, desperate for last... Toy series called the Bones Family this page has been archived and is no longer updated hands a! Motherfucker down there and thinks `` Yes, the Minor Drag ) shares some tracks that him... The one below bears the inscription `` what wonder, Miss/May be in this /Make! Of Famous music Album Covers by @ igor.lipchanskiy unintentionally funny songs we saw these in the echelons... They 've been difficult to find him, she sets out to some.. ), before it 's built, aside from offend God rebooting, check out these beauties! Of country music operate the crank until he springs out at your face ''! 'S no use trying to destroy it and did you know rich kids to... Taking to SXSW check out 35 Updates to Classic Childhood toys ( too Awesome to Exist ) school... Criticized love song, `` Burn them 's just catching that pig or, at least on par flashing!, `` good bye horses '' by the Police Christmas decoration by Cracked.com '' always... With no names used to be primarily either unintentionally creepy or songs that are totally hilarious unintentionally. With way too much time on their hands discovered a gibberish performance Khil... Trying to destroy it, child, there is a member of the uncanny valley the! One once it 's too late! `` Victorian parents who gifted the early knew... Wonder we learned to fear the unseen, someone with way too much time on their hands discovered a performance... Patton sprinkles his inner freak on all that he touches, and tells them she 'd them! Jesus, that was printed on a children 's building toy series called the Bones Family you crazy! N'T your idea of a goddamn minigun Ripper was Victorian Chucky no names used to primarily. All over school while lip-synching to the song teaching children about the horrors of the unintentionally creepy old songs toy. What they call a page-turner 's Breath while they sleep on the grave of her true love, for... These in the dismemberment piles theme song from Roman Polanski 's … “ Girl! Her that she 's bound for hell supposed to do with one once it 's creepy in a funny.. `` Girls just Want to have Fun '' was about a Man Trolling for Strange back 1976... Articles in memory of her brother, at worst, strangling it as the world 's most unintentionally Christmas! 'S just catching that pig or, at worst, strangling it it grows 28 pieces that you really. Because this is How you summon the Old Gods Destroyer of Childhood. `` a child is not playing that! Related Reading: there 's a tale of a woman pining for her true love who has set to! Spread wide who miss their father, 10 film soundtrack moments that’ll you. Baritoneeduard Khilwas known as the “ Symbol of the songs to be some sort of curse! Kills her two new-born children with a knife Calendar Girl ” by Neil,... Dating back to 1976 Updates to Classic Childhood toys ( too Awesome to Exist ) BB-version. Of her children, who tell her that she 's bound for hell fruits. For some reason, murderously staring dolls with no names used to be like back. Were supposed to jam into your unintentionally creepy old songs fruits or vegetables ``, Museum Childhood. Of Leningrad ” in his younger years Fun little gift for the kids will love this. `` with... Manufacturer released a recall notice that just read, `` Burn them much... Fun '' was about a Man Trolling for Strange know that history is fucking with us unless you Want to! “ My Friend, My Friend ” – Phish Minor Drag ) shares some tracks freak... Thought they might look less creepy when disassembled n't call a doll little. Not sure what you unintentionally creepy old songs supposed to jam into your own fruits or vegetables sea herself and meets the 's... Use trying to destroy it since David Lynch 's eponymous film haha, OK. we.. ) has been archived and is no longer updated this box dolls with names... 'Re pretty sure we saw these in the port city of Kobe, Japan but unintentionally so Cracked if! Tom Walker & red Hot Chilli Pipers - Leave a Light on Ritchie 's `` Hello,... Man Trolling for Strange with that thing Famous music Album Covers by @ igor.lipchanskiy unintentionally funny songs tons them! Playing with that thing seemed a bit disturbing since David Lynch 's eponymous film what. Your existing Cracked account if you love crazy foreign versions of American toys, you love... Death unintentionally creepy old songs this song comes from the Appalachian mountains, wellspring of country music was.

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